As we all know, finding love is not as easy as the movies make it out to be. Finding the right one can take years, and by then it may be too late to have a kid. Many young adults are no longer getting married in their 20s, instead choosing to wait until they are more financially stable, established in a career, or simply more mature. This means that a woman’s window of opportunity to have a kid has shrunk significantly. Many single women (and men) are now choosing to skip finding a partner and become a single parent.
What Is a Single Parent By Choice?
A single parent by choice is an adult who chooses to have a kid by in vitro fertilization (IVF), adoption, or artificial insemination, without a partner. Many adults are deciding that pursuing a long term relationship is too uncertain or time-consuming--or simply that they can’t wait any longer to start a family.
Becoming a Single Mother
The choice to become a single parent is different for women than it is for men. Women only have until their early 40s to conceive a child, while men are fertile for the majority of their life.
Women who wait until their 30s to search for a partner only have about a decade to find a partner. While this may sound like a long time, if you take into account that many relationships last years and don’t result in marriage, this window of opportunity becomes a lot smaller.
If you are a woman nearing her 40s or just don’t want to wait to find a partner, becoming a single mom by choice is a great choice to take, but not one that should be taken lightly.
Before you decide to take the journey of single motherhood, make sure that you know exactly what lies ahead. While becoming a single parent by choice can result in the start of a loving family, the added strain of being a single parent can be a lot of work. Without a partner, the financial requirements and the time needed to raise the kid are basically doubled. If you are not financially ready or don’t have enough time but are certain you want a kid, you may want to consider a co-parenting agreement.
It is a good idea to consult friends and family to see if they might be able to help you raise your kid. Make sure you have a solid support system behind you. If you aren’t comfortable with having family do this, Single Mothers By Choice is a great organization that can help you share your thoughts and feelings with other single mothers or individuals.
How To Become a Single Mother
If you have decided that this is the path for you, there are several options available.
There is a tremendous amount of parentless children around the world. Adopting one of them would provide them with a loving parent and you with a child to call your own.
Unfortunately, this may be a little tough as adoption clinics typically give preference to married couples. This may also not be for you if you are certain that you want your kid to be your own.
Artificial insemination is the process of becoming pregnant without having sexual intercourse. This can be done either by Intracervical or Intrauterine insemination. These are very safe methods to conceive and can be done in a fertility clinic or even in the comfort of your own home (we have a guide for this here).
In Vitro Fertilization
If you have fertility issues or trouble conceiving, In Vitro Fertilization may be your only option. IVF is where your egg is extracted and fertilized in a lab, then re-inserted into your uterus. This process can be very expensive and may not be necessary if you do not have problems conceiving.
If you decide to use IVF or artificial insemination, our Modamily Concierge can help you find a known sperm donor from our database of over 3,000 known sperm donors.
Becoming a Single Father
When it comes to deciding whether or not to become a single parent, men and women face a slightly different situation. Women have a finite window of opportunity to have a child before they become infertile, while Men can have children for virtually their entire life.
This means that the decision is far less time-constrained. However, it is still a tough decision. Are you financially secure? Do you have the free time to care for your child? Do you have friends or family that are willing and able to help?
These are the sorts of questions that you will need to ask yourself before making this tough decision. If the answer is no to some but you are certain you want a kid, you may want to look into a co-parenting agreement.
How To Become a Single Father
Adoption is a great way to start a family while also doing some good. There are many parentless children out there looking for a parent.
Sadly, many adoption clinics prioritize married couples. This may also not be for you if you are certain you want to have a child yourself.
If you want to become a single father without adopting, you will first need to find an egg donor. Luckily, there are thousands of egg donors who are willing to help you start your family. Similar to sperm donors, egg donors can be chosen by whatever characteristics you desire. Modamily Concierge has partnered with over 100 egg donor agencies to help you find the donor that works for you.
Using a Surrogate
Men who want to have a child on their own but don’t have a partner will need to use a surrogate. A surrogate is a woman who will carry your child for you in exchange for a fee.
This process will likely need to be done using IVF, where your sperm would fertilize a donor egg and then be implanted into the surrogate. It is important to note that this would be very expensive as IVF and a surrogate both typically cost tens of thousands of dollars. To bring these down, you could find a friend or family willing to be a surrogate.
If you want to start a family as a single father, but don’t have a surrogate, the Modamily Concierge can help you find the surrogate that is right for you.
Is Single Parenting Right For You?
The choice to become a single parent is not an easy one. The financial strains of raising a child on your own can be a lot, but don’t let this stop you from starting the family that you’ve always wanted. If you want to start a family, don’t let outdated social standards get in your way--starting a family is your choice and your choice alone.
Whatever path you decide to take, Modamily Concierge is here to help. Modamily is the premier online service for those who want to start a family. We can help you find a sperm donor, egg donor, surrogate, co-parent, or your next love. For help, contact us HERE.