Starting a family can be a long, difficult endeavor--especially for those with fertility issues. Fortunately, modern technology has made it possible even for those with problems conceiving kids. You no longer even need to visit a sperm bank or fertility clinic, you can just order the donor sperm from the comfort of your own home!
The Basics of Ordering Sperm Online
There are many resources out there to help you along your journey to parenthood, so make sure you use them. From other parents who used an egg or sperm donation to conceive their children to experts who will help you find the right sperm donor, there are many people out there looking to help. On top of that, many of these resources can be totally free!
Known vs Anonymous Sperm Donors
One of the toughest choices you’ll face when deciding to conceive with a sperm donor is whether you’d like to use a known or anonymous donor. While it used to be the case that almost all sperm donors were anonymous, many people have now started to use known donors. For a full comparison of known vs anonymous donors, click here.
Anonymous Sperm Donors
Anonymous donors were the most popular option for people using donor insemination for many years for three reasons. First, they would never have to worry about the donor and child coming into contact without their consent (which is not really a valid concern with known donors given that the donor is not able to contact the kid without their consent until they are 18 anyways). Also, with new genetic testing technologies, it’s entirely possible that, even with an anonymous donor, the child will be able to contact them.
Next, until somewhat recently, the only option for people seeking to conceive using a sperm donation was an anonymous donor. This is because almost all sperm banks are limited to anonymous donors, and sperm banks were by far the most accessible option. Fortunately, this is no longer the case.
Finally, some people found it shameful to have had to use a sperm donor to conceive. As this idea has become somewhat outdated, many people have begun to use known donors for the unique benefits it provides.
Known Sperm Donors
While friends or family is a good option for a known sperm donor, it is not the only option. Sperm donor search services, such as Modamily, are now very common. Fertility clinics can sometimes also provide you with known donors, although not as many as a sperm donor search service.
Known donors offer a variety of benefits that anonymous donors simply cannot. Firstly, they’re almost always significantly cheaper. Where a sperm bank or fertility clinic may charge thousands of dollars for sperm donations, using friends or family is free. Many sperm donor search services, such as Modamily, are free of charge.
By using a known donor, you also keep the door open to allowing your kid to eventually meet them. It is only natural for donor-conceived children to wonder about their parents, and providing them with that opportunity once they are an adult can go a long way to help them establish their identity.
Finally, a known donor will be able to provide you with much more information on themselves. A sperm bank typically offers a set list of characteristics such as height, weight, education, ethnicity, and some other items. A known donor will provide you with everything a sperm bank does, as well as anything else you may want to know.
Finding a Sperm Donor
Before you can actually get started with ordering the sperm, you’ll need to find a sperm donor. A great first option may be to just ask friends and family. After all, it will make the whole process a lot cheaper and quicker than using a fertility clinic or sperm bank.
Using friends or family for a sperm donation is also a great choice for lesbian couples. By using the brother or cousin of one of the partners, you could have a kid that is very similar to both parents’ genetics, rather than just one.
If using friends or family isn’t an option, or you’d feel more comfortable with someone else, there are still plenty of options available to you.
Where Can I Find a Sperm Donor?
Once you’ve decided on a known or anonymous sperm donor, it's time to decide where you want to get it from. Either way, you will have several options.
Friends & Family
This has always been a good choice for sourcing a sperm donation. After all, you already know all about the donor, including personality traits that may be passed on to your kid. It is also typically free.
If you want to use friends or family, you will need to make sure they are properly screened. Sperm donor search services, fertility clinics, and sperm banks all conduct medical screenings of their donors to ensure that they do not have any STIs or other conditions that may be passed on to the child or mother.
You’ll want to make sure that any potential donor you use is screened in the same way to ensure you and your child’s safety.
This is the traditional choice when ordering sperm. Sperm banks offer many different donors and allow you to specify which characteristics you would like, although these items can be somewhat limited. If you are looking for an anonymous donor, this is likely your best option, however they rarely offer known sperm donors.
While sperm banks may seem fast and convenient, they often have huge waitlists for their more popular donors. Also, they typically charge $400-800 per vial of sperm, and you will need several of these.
Sperm Donor Search Service
Sperm donor search services are the best option for those who want to find a known donor. Sperm donor search services provide you with far more information about the donor, as well as the option to meet them in person or over a video call. This means you’ll get way more information on the donor than the limited info provided by a fertility clinic or sperm bank.
They also undergo the same medical screening process used by other options, so there is no need to worry about your safety. A known donor registry rarely has waitlists for its donors and has as many options as a sperm bank.
They are also usually free. Modamily has over three thousand known sperm donors who want to help you start your family at no charge!
Fertility clinics are a good one-stop-shop for assisted reproductive needs. However, they tend to be, as the saying goes, a jack of all trades and master of none. While they may be able to provide you with sperm donors, their selection is usually extremely limited.
They also usually charge about the same as a sperm bank. So while they may have sperm donors, they charge the same as a sperm bank and just have far less options.
I’ve Found a Sperm Donor, What’s Next?
Now that you’ve found the sperm donor you like, there are a few things you should do before ordering the sperm.
Ordering for Donor-Siblings
If you plan on having future kids, and want your kids to be conceived with the same donor, you should start planning this now. With a sperm bank or fertility clinic, you will need to ask to reserve sperm from that specific donor for future use. With a donor search service, friends, or family, you will need to ask them if they would be willing to donate in the future.
Sperm motility is the measure of how mobile/concentrated the sperm cells within the semen are. If you are ordering for IVF you will need MOT5 sperm, which may need to be treated beforehand. The other option is MOT10 sperm, which can be used for either home insemination (Intracervical Insemination) or insemination at the clinic (Intrauterine Insemination). If you plan on using a clinic to conceive, this sperm will need to be “washed” by the clinic beforehand. Sperm donor search services, fertility clinics, and sperm banks will conduct all this testing for you.
Since you will be ordering this sperm online, it will be frozen beforehand. Make sure not to let the sperm thaw unless you plan on using it. Once you receive the sperm, put it immediately in the freezer.
How Much Sperm to Order
Given that the success rate of any type of insemination ranges from 15-30% per menstrual cycle, odds are that you will need several vials of sperm. Make sure to order as many as you may need. Since a known donor is usually free, don’t be afraid to order too many. You may want to be a little more conservative with a sperm bank or fertility clinic as they charge hundreds of dollars per vial.
Conceiving With Donor Sperm
Once you’ve received the donor sperm, the next step is to use home insemination, clinic insemination, or In-Vitro Fertilization (IVF). If you are conceiving using a clinic or IVF, they will provide you with the next steps. If you want to conceive at home, check out our guide on home insemination.
Choose Modamily, The Leading Known Donor Registry
Modamily has over 3,000 known donors in it’s database who are willing to help you start your family at no charge other than travel and medical expenses. We provide a plethora of information on our donors such as age, height, body type, education, medical history, religion, ethnicity, race, eye color, hair color, smoking habits, occupation, and more. You will also have the opportunity to meet the donor in person!
Our donors are ready to ship you sperm as soon as you’d like. Just use our search service to find the one you like and get in touch. They are also willing to meet in person or over video to tell you more about themselves.
We have a team of experts who can help you through your whole process to make it as smooth as possible. Avoid the high costs and long waits of a traditional sperm bank and create a free account for our search service, or sign up for a free consultation!