Starting A Family In The UK As A Same-Sex Couple

If you’re thinking about starting a family, don’t let anything get in your way to create the life you want. Many different options are available for starting a family the way you want, no matter where you live. 

In the United Kingdom, same-sex marriage is legal in all parts. However, the UK legalized this at different times. In 2014, same-sex marriage was recognized in England and Wales. In Scotland, this has been recognized since December 2014, as well as in Northern Ireland since January 2020. It is legal in nine out of the 14 British Overseas Territories and all of the Crown Dependencies. 

Same-Sex Paths to Parenthood

Here are some great options for a path that’s right for you and your spouse if you are planning to start a family in the UK. 

Sperm Donor 

The donor donation process is where sperm from a donor is put inside the woman who will carry the child. The donor can be known or anonymous, come from a donor bank or a trusted individual. The insemination process can be performed at home, at a fertility clinic, or naturally (sexual intercourse).  

If you decide to look for donor insemination- you may want to consider the options of known or anonymous donors. 

  • Known: Whether this is through a friend, family member, or with services like Modamily this is a great way for your child to know who their biological father would be. With Modamily, you are able to speak with the donor beforehand to see if they are the right fit for you.
  • Anonymous: If you choose this option, the donor is unable to contact the child or parents (and vice versa). 
  • Semi-open: This option is a bit more complicated, but you may consider a hybrid situation. In a semi-open donor relationship, communication can be restricted until the child is 18. It is up to the family to begin the relationship or not. 

Couples who are not civil partners at the time of conception but who conceive through donor insemination at a licensed clinic will also be treated as their child's legal parents. But when non-civil partners conceive through donor insemination by private arrangement at home, the non-birth mother has no legal parenthood and will have to adopt the child to obtain parental rights.

Modamily’s Concierge service has over 3,000 known sperm donors around the world, not just the UK! By choosing to use our services, we can discuss a timeline and preferred criteria for your potential candidates. While known sperm donors receive no additional financial incentives, recipients are required to pay any medical, legal, and travel expenses. Depending on your preferences, you may choose to stay in touch with your donor. As the legal parent, you can customize the relationship that works best for you and your child.

Egg Donor

The egg donation process typically involves a doctor removing an egg or eggs from the donor, fertilizing them in a laboratory, and then transferring the resulting embryos into the recipient’s uterus. Doctors do this using an implantation procedure, such as in-vitro fertilization (IVF).

Instead of using a single donor agency that only offers a few options, Modamily has relations with over 100 agencies nationwide. By scheduling a free consultation, we will use our services to eliminate the stress associated and help you make the best choice for your situation. With one of our plans, we will find you 20-30 complete egg donor profiles within 2-3 weeks. When you find a donor you like, we’ll reserve them and connect you with the agency that represents them.

Surrogacy 

Surrogacy is when a woman has a baby for a couple who cannot carry the child themselves. For the father, this option is a way to have the child share DNA. Surrogates are legal in the UK, however, it is illegal to advertise for surrogates, and there cannot be financial benefits (besides reasonable expenses)paid out to the intended surrogate. In addition, the child is not legally the intended recipient until it has been issued after the child’s birth, if this order is not issued the surrogate has the right to keep the child. 

Co-Parenting 

Co-parenting can be when two or more people participate in parenting together. It can be romantic or platonic and can be made between two single people, a single person, and a couple or two couples altogether. 

As a co-parent, you don’t have sole custody of the child, and making sure you have boundaries and rules set up is essential. 

Adoption/ Fostering

In the UK, same-sex couples can adopt or foster a child together. You can apply for adoption through an agency or a local authority. You will have to complete a series of paperwork to start the adoption or fostering process. 

Trans/ Non-Binary Parents 

Trans or non-binary have the same exact rights as any other person to become a parent, including adoption, fostering, or a donor. 

Modamily

Modamily is the go-to resource for information about co-parenting and sperm donor laws, fertility options, pregnancy health and well-being, and best practices recommendations on how best to responsibly embark on this journey.

Modamily provides a network where members can meet other like-minded people who dream of starting a family. There are many ways to become a parent, and what Modamily does is help our members find someone that wants to raise a child in a similar fashion as they do. 

One of the capabilities of the site that sets us apart from other co-parenting and sperm donor sites is the Parenting and Lifestyle quiz, which helps members determine which candidates they could see themselves parenting with. 

Furthermore, Modamily has recently launched Modamily Concierge, where our staff personally gets involved to guide members through their search process of finding either a co-parent, donor, and/or surrogate.



Sources

NHS UK

Progyny

Medical News Today