Starting A Family As A Co-Parent: A Guide

These days, you don’t have to choose a traditional way to start a family. Many people are more focused on their career goals to find the right partner for life. If you’re single and feeling pressures of the biological clock, or frustrated by short-term casual relationships and are still ready to meet someone to have children with, co-parenting could be a great option for you! 

What does Coparenting mean? 

To start, a co-parent relationship can be romantic or platonic. It’s when two people decide to raise a child together and are not married. By executing a co-parenting agreement, similar to a roommate agreement, this contract allows the two partners to define what arrangements work best for them to achieve their parenting goals.

We recommend that the best way to have a successful co-parent relationship is by being open to compromise and communication. For more information on how to co-parent, check out our guide here

Choosing Your Co-Parent 

There are many ways to choose your co-parent partner. This partner could conceive a child with you or serve as a parent figure to a child, without sharing genetics. You can ask a close friend or family member, or find someone through online services like Modamily.

The selection process needs to be taken seriously as this is your partner to raise a family with. Take into account job security, location, health, characteristic traits, religious views etc. Choosing to start a co-parenting relationship can have many benefits for the child’s life, like teaching compromise, communication, balance and patience. 

Starting a Family 

Co-parenting doesn’t mean you have to live together, but it does mean cooperating and communicating together. For example, you meet your co-parent online and decide to start a family together.

Starting a family together means agreeing to morals and values to raising a child. While many co-parenting websites and apps are out there, none feature a co-parent qualities ranking list, which allows you to find the best candidate for your situation and aligns with your values and plans for raising a child.

Modamily has over 30,000 users for you to find the perfect co-parent match! This allows you to be selective in who you want to co-parent with, and you can meet them before making the big decision. 

If you’ve found someone you’d like to raise a child with. You should strategically review how you will go about the pregnancy, finances, location and more in your customized co-parent agreement form. 

How to Conceive 

There are different ways to become pregnant when you choose to raise a family with your co-parent. Make sure to review each method to see which one is right for you. 

A common way to conceive is through artificial insemination. This process involves collecting and then inserting sperm from a sperm donor into the woman.

This procedure can be performed at home with an insemination kit or in a fertility center by a medical staff. If chosen at home, this allows the comfortability of being at home.

With this, the turkey baster method is used. For more information on home insemination and the benefits and risks associated with this, visit our guide. 

Another option is natural insemination. For more information on this method review our guide on natural insemination here. In vitro fertilization (IVF) is an alternative for those who have fertility issues (blocked or damaged fallopian tubes, ovulation disorders, or premature ovarian failure).

This is also a solution for those who require donated eggs. To perform IVF, the woman’s eggs (or those of a donor) are fertilized by sperm in a laboratory. The resultant embryo is then transplanted into the woman’s womb.

Do Your Research 

It’s important to do your research and have self-reflection on what you want to get out of a co-parenting relationship, and how you want to go about starting your family. What qualities are you looking for in a co-parent? Will you adopt a child together or conceive a child? What will your birth plan be?

If you decide to conceive a child together, open communication is critical to make sure both parties are on board for major decisions. Try setting bi-weekly meetings throughout the pregnancy to go over how each person is feeling. 

Co-Parent Family Do’s and Don’ts


  • Commit to making co-parenting an open dialogue with your co-parent. Arrange to do this through email, texting, voicemail, letters, or in-person conversation. There are even websites where you can upload schedules, share information and communicate.  
  • Rules should be consistent and agreed upon in both households. Children should have routine and structure. Make sure mealtime, bedtime and even chores are consistent. Rules should be enforced the same for school work. 
  • Commit to positivity. The relationship won’t work unless you do. 
  • Create an Extended Family Plan. Negotiate and agree on the role extended family members will play and the access they'll be granted while your child is in each other's charge.  
  • Recognize that co-parenting will challenge you and your life will change with a child. 
  • Each co-parent has strengths and weaknesses, some days will be better than others. 


  • Don't be an unbalanced co-parent. Remember that children develop best with both parents united. Co-parenting with a healthy dose of fun, structure and predictability is the best mix.
  • Remember, work before play is a golden rule - and one that will help your child throughout their lifetime. Making sure to be consistent helps your child transition back and forth. 
  • Don't accuse, discuss. Never remain quiet if something about your co-parenting is troubling you. Create a working business arrangement. Communication about co-parenting is extremely vital for your child's healthy development. 

Finding a Co-Parent With Modamily 

Modamily is a new way to family, it reimagines the stereotypes of relationships. Now more than ever, you are able to decide how you want to start a family. With online services like Modamily, you can have the option to find a co-parent, egg or sperm donor and surrogate!

We have made thousands of connections since 2011 and over 200 babies! With our experience, established networks and will take care of you during the process from beginning to end. Sign up today or schedule a free consultation to see what Modamily has to offer you! 



Psychology Today